We are forced to live together I know you can’t help it But sometimes I can’t fucking stand you
The way you talk The way you raise your eyebrow Only the way you look at me Or don’t look at me It makes me furious
I know deep in your soul you’re a good person But everything I see are arrogant eyes I’d like them If they weren’t so cold
I wish you smiled at me more often Maybe it’d be easier for me to smile at you Expect nicer things to come out of your mouth Than blaming and critics
I know sometimes you try But then I can’t see it And treat you as usual Regret it when I lie in bed Alone with my thoughts
Sometimes I dream of you as a kind, loving human I know it’s the deep wish of my soul To get along with you Maybe even trust you Without having the fear of being judged by you
We have our moments They make me see you In a different way Make me be comfortable with you But the routines of the day Destroy everything
Remind me of your every day face Your every day attitude It makes me sick. The way you don’t understand me Are you not able to or do you just refuse to?
I cant tell.
I know you will never be an empathetic person and Maybe people like you And people like me Aren’t meant to work together But I know we will get by somehow
And after all We need to work out a happy ending. Together. Or it will break down at the end Burying us into regrets and haunting thoughts
You try to protect me
But with showing me how disgusting this world is, over and over again
You just make me vulnerable and anxious
Being afraid of dark corners
Everyone has a dark side could be a potential murderer
We were born pure
But life forms us into bitter faces, memories, thoughts
I want to set myself free
Im going to set myself free
I know you want me to
I know you dont want me to
Last year I was spending my holidays in a small village and in the house we rented I found an old book from the 60s about Michelangelos work and I literally studied it. One page particularly interested me the most, it was a picture of Michelangelos sculpture of Giuliano de’ Mecidi. So then I decided to draw it and I still like it a lot even though it doesnt really represent the orginial very well but it always reminds me of the nice holidays I spent there. I might redraw it one time.
The more you dont believe in me
The more Im going to fight against it, against you thinking you know my fate
Im going to learn how to fly
Just to prove you, you were wrong
Im going to become the next Michelangelo if you want so
Just because your life didnt turn out the way you prefered
Doesnt mean you have a right to put me down
I know you dont mean it the way it hits me
But, trust me, the more you had tried to bring me back to the ground, the more my wings have grown
Im reaching for the stars and I promise you, someday Im going to be able to touch them
You will believe me when you see the stardust on my hands
Im going to prove it to you
You will realize you were wrong
When the metamorphose is completed
I don’t know what it is about you, maybe it’s your cheeky smile or your taste in music that appears to have a lot in common with mine or maybe it are your beautiful blue eyes that look like the first snow in winter, reflecting the fading, pale sky. Maybe it’s the way you laugh when you feel slightly embarrassed or the way you like to tickle your liked ones.
I guess it’s everything totalized, what makes me feel the way I feel about you. I’m not sure how long this is going to last but it lasted long enough for me to tell: I fell for you. I tried to fight against it, but sometimes when you try to fight against something it just gains more power and becomes worse.
When I think about you I intuitively smile without even noticing, even my heart feels like smiling. My stomach feels like I’m excited about something but I can’t tell about what. You’re the only one who is able to make me feel cold and hot at the same time, when I’m close to you.
When you look at me I feel exposed and nervous but also fairly agitated. I want to have deep conversations with you, while we look at the starry night sky. I want to hold your hand and you to hold me. I want to be close to you, hear the beat of your heart under your chest.
I feel like you’re the person that could complete me, complete my life, enrich it. But this can’t happen. I feel bad for having these desires. Maybe I just fell for you because you made me feel confident and unique.
It’s easy to fall for someone you are forbidden to reach. I shouldn’t have these thoughts about you, I can’t even write them all down if I don’t want to write a book. You’re taken and you built up yourself a family and I’m sort of glad about that because that’s how life works if you don’t want to die alone and if you want your own input for this world.
Maybe my tiny, young heart just wants to feel safe and secure and believes clawing for yours would make me approach this dream. Faster.
Everything reminds me of you, I feel like I’d know you but after all it’s just the image I created in my head. I don’t want to wait anymore. Im tired and exhausted of it, but also I can’t let these feelings easily go, they somehow seem to make me feel alive.
There will always be this glimmer of hope, glisting in my chest. I’m trying to let it go, but it’s hard, it really is. I’m sad I’m not the one who is allowed and able to make you happy and embellish your day.
But trust me, Mister, I won’t stop trying. I’m always going to have sympathy for you and I will always try to win your favour, smiling at you in the distance.